Luxor - I've been reliably informed by a jealous archaeologist - is considered one of the world's best "open air museums". Within a half hour's drive are the Valley of the Kings, Valley of the Queen, Valley of the Monkey (I'm not making this up), Valley of the Nobles, Habu Temple, Karnak Temple, Temple of Luxor and the Temple of Catchimitsup, to name a few.
I fiercely ridiculed a friend of mine a few years ago for saying, "oh, it's just more elephants" while on safari in Chobe, Botswana. I'll stop short of making a similar remark, but will say this much, for someone with a passing and reasonably undeveloped interest in the ancient world, Luxor has a lot available to see and explore that is not always discernibly different, save for its relative geography. These temples, ruins and monuments are impressive but without a knowledgeable guide or a full blown passion for the subject material, travelling from one to the other can feel a little like herding.
Peter - our guide for the West Bank - was probably always going to struggle. In our midst was a Canadian, embittered from years in China and Libya, who took contrarianism and Devil's Advocacy to levels that paint me as positively docile and agreeable. Make no mistake, this is a man made tolerable only by knowing that you never have to see him again.
Heading to the Valley of the Kings first, I passed my 2005-spec-student-ID to the man at the gate, wrapped with enough Egyptian pounds for student entry. He looks at it, then at me, hat and sunglasses poorly masking nine years of time travel, hardly aided by the bushy beard on show.
His eyes narrow as he says, "you help me, I help you."
I give him 10 pound more (somewhere short of $2). He accepts. I can hardly fault his dishonesty given the context of my own. This sets the tone for the rest of the day, the UWA ID works, even after they notice the last sticker was issued in 2010. Apparently, my hostel sells "valid" student ID anyway, but at 100 pounds a go, mine and a bribe works out cheaper.
The more you know.
This is a useful lens to view Egypt through. Ever since every developed country on the planet revised their, "reconsider travel" to "do not travel" warnings, most tourists have paid heed to them. In a town like Luxor whose only serious industry is tourism, when money walks in, competition for it is fierce but not always intuitive. For services, the price seems to race to the bottom, for goods - food especially - menus and prices are shuffled to a tourist price and away from an "Egyptian price", a phrase I've grown to loathe. At attractions, well, the price is a student price plus whatever you can negotiate without causing a scene, typically somewhere in the vicinity of an extra 10-15%.
A ticket into the Valley of the Kings gives you access to any three of a dozen or so tombs with the exception of Tuthmoses and one of the eleven Rameses, these are purchased as standalones. Peter leaves us be, giving little away. Guides aren't allowed here, nor is photography (not that it stopped officials taking pictures for brochures and postcards...). Rameses IV is our first tomb, it's not terribly long or deep but every surface is covered in hieroglyphics, scenes with Horus, Amun Ra, Anubis and Rameses IV. The level of detail and precision is remarkable.
The iconography in Merentpah's tomb is less impressive and colourful but it's deep. Really, really deep. These tombs are prepared in the pharaoh's lifetime (+40 days for the mummification) so I guess it's altogether possible that Merentpah lost out a little in optimising that "audacious digging" against "ornate decoration".
It could happen to anyone, really.
Rameses III nailed it though. A meandering tomb with some seriously impressive depicted scenes on show, besides accidentally gatecrashing an adjacent tomb, this man's slaves got it very right.
This is where the tour gets frustrating, the place we go to next is a "traditional alabaster carving house", the purpose of which is for us to learn how the pots were made in ancient times. I call bullshit first, saying to Peter that it sounds like a souvenir shop and I wasn't interested. He stiffens at the accusation... then the Canadian savages him bluntly and tactlessly. He's a surgeon with a sledgehammer. It's incredible and tragic in equal measure. Peter breaks down and confesses he's on commission. We go to the traditional alabaster carving house. It even has eftpos.
We sit there for an hour, doing nothing. People talk at us, trying to sell things. No one budges. We can't leave. All so that Peter can get his five percent commission...
... but five percent of nothing is still nothing.
It's a tough thing to be witness to, you can see that there was a very large tourist industry here and everyone involved with it are fighting over the unpalatable dregs that ignore travel warnings in the pursuit of adventure. We were never predisposed to souvenir based tourism and were it not for those that are now conspicuously absent in the Egyptian travel-scape, probably wouldn't have been subjected to this. Instead, everyone wins an uncomfortable marriage of opposing agendas for the day.
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